Who was I kidding?

I can’t believe I actually thought I’d have time to keep up with a blog. Okay, maybe I would have been able to but then a friend of mine informed me about the new World of Warcraft patch and so it is entirely his fault that I am once again addicted. That’s not the only reason I haven’t been keeping up, though.

I’ve been in a weird sort of funk lately. I’m not entirely sure what the problem is. I’m just completely unmotivated to do anything on the web lately. I have been making jewelry but I haven’t been as fired up about that as I was a couple weeks ago, either.

I need some excitement, me thinks. I’m burnt out. I feel like I have to do almost EVERYTHING and I’m only one person and I can’t handle it right now. There are a few people that I know will take initiative and help out without me having to guide them and I am of course thank for each of you (you know who you are!). So I think World of Warcraft has been a good BREAK for me. I needed to take time for myself and to just STOP doing everything. But now that I’ve taken some time away it has kinda opened my eyes to a few things and it kinda makes me sad/angry.

I just wish people weren’t so conceited and power hungry and *insert many more adjectives here*. I just don’t understand it. I feel like everyone is so hateful towards each other and I struggle with that so much because I am all about caring about everyone no matter what and giving people the benefit of the doubt and whatever. I mean sure, I have a small handful of people who have done things to me or people I love that I’ve forgiven and I’ve lifted it up to God to handle but I won’t forget it anytime soon and I’m still hurt by their actions. And I know I’m supposed to love them anyway like Jesus did, but I can’t. I’d rather forget about them all together. And I’m tired of judging people because that’s all our culture these days do. I don’t want to! It’s not my place! But I keep falling into it because that all that’s done around me.

And then there’s work. Which is frustrating me more and more these days. It’s turning me into a very bitter person. I’m always angry here. And it doesn’t help when I feel like I’m treated like I don’t matter so much of the time. Everyone else can take time off with no problem. Everyone else can take sick days. But me? Nope. If I even try to stay home sick I get pestered so much about it that it’s not even worth it. Usually when I’m sick they don’t even notice. The red nose, tissue box I’m toting around, the constat coughing, sneezing, nose-blowing, the nasal voice? Nope. They don’t notice. When they do notice do you think they offer to let me go home early or tell me to lay down or ANYTHING? Nope. I can be half passed out on the desk or on the verge of DYING and they don’t care. AND THIS IS FAMILY I’M TALKING ABOUT! When I take vacation days off I get called anywhere from 3-10 times a day (and I’m not exaggerating). One of the last days I took off back in November, I had to stop into work to pick up a package and I told Dad I would do a couple things he needed me to do while I was there for a few minutes. I ended up being in work for a half day.

I just wish I could work from home. I would get so much more accomplished that way anyway. Because in the amount of time I’m here at work with nothing to do I could be doing SOMETHING constructive at home. Cleaning house, laundry, making jewelry, working out. So much time WASTED.

Anyway.. that about does it for now. I’ll try to update more often.